1. Please don't say bad things about my other parent who doesn't live with us, especially if I visit them. I love you both.

2. Please don't put me in the middle or ask me to deliver messages. The problem is between you two.

3. Please turn off the TV and computer and spend some time alone with me, even five minutes of my very own time, not related to room cleaning, school, or things like that.

4. Please don't fight in front of me or scream at each other on the phone. It's really scary when you do.

5. Please remember I am young. I find it hard to love a stepparent without feeling disloyal to my "real" parent. Give me time!

6. Please don't react with anger when I say I want to live with the other parent. Usually when I say it, I am angry, hurt and scared.

7. Please don't try to buy my love.
8. Please let me tell you what I want to tell you about visits with my other parent. (Often I'm afraid I'll hurt your feelings if I tell you I had a good time.)
9. Please let me put up pictures taken "before" the event; that is my family history.
10. Please don't share all your panic about money with me. I am a child and will try to please you. (Would we save a lot if I ate less?)

11. Even if you are sure my other parent will mislead me or break promises, please let me learn myself. Id' like you there with a big hug if I do get hurt.... and please don't say, "I told you so."

12. Remember, above all, I'm a child and I'm scared. I need a parent who will protect me while I grow.