From "slacker" to "scholar"
Parent Spot for Parents of Middle School Students

Helping to motivate your middle schooler

Motivation, or the sudden lack of it, is a huge issue with middle schoolers. It’s as if overnight your previously studious, capable child seems to have become the slacker of the seventh grade. This shift in attentiveness can leave parents puzzled and looking for clues about what to do to get their child back on track.

Why now?

Once they leave the cozy, contained elementary school environment, students are hit with a host of challenges. Suddenly, they have multiple teachers, each with their own set of assignments and expectations. On top of this, they need to learn how to juggle extracurricular activities, sports and budding social lives.

Hormones kick into overdrive, hairstyles take on new importance, and being an attentive student may suddenly seem un-cool. It is no wonder why grades and ambition might take a nosedive.

What parents can do
Obviously there is no magic answer to motivating your child. For some children, underachievement may have roots that stretch all the way back to the preschool years. For others, difficulties stemming from learning disabilities may be intensified once they are coupled with the challenges of middle school.

The key is to look at your own child’s case, decide whether it is new or on-going, determine what other factors (such as changes in the family or home environment) might be at play and then tailor your approach accordingly. Teachers, guidance counselors and support staff can be great allies in helping keep your child achieving to the best of his or her abilities.

In the book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades (And What You Can Do About It)", Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Ph.D., offers the following suggestions that can help encourage your child to do well:

Have positive, realistic expectations
Remember to keep your views of achievement realistic and positive (i.e. doing one’s best is more important than being at the top of the class/winning the game, etc.). If you are uncertain about whether you are expecting too much or too little, talk with your child’s guidance counselor or teacher(s).

Be a positive motivation role model
When talking about your own work, emphasize the satisfactions and frustrations that go with reaching a goal or finishing a job. This is a great way to show your child that, despite the hard work and occasional setbacks, achievement isn’t all drudgery.

Help your child get organized
Motivation can decline if a child doesn’t feel on top of things:

• Teach your child how to use a day planner or calendar to keep track of assignments and activities. Have your child use folders or binders to store paperwork for each subject area.

• Make a space in your home where your child can do his or her homework.

• Have your child keep all of the supplies he or she will need to complete assignments in one location. A storage box with a lid can keep pens, pencils, a calculator and paper together. Have your child let you know if he or she is running low on supplies.

• Involve your child in developing a study routine. Together, agree upon a set time for your child to work on school assignments. For some students who are lacking motivation, a "work first/play later" rule can be a good incentive.

Maintain a united parental front
Parents should be consistent when setting goals for their child. If one parent sets goals higher than the other parent, children are likely to choose the easy way out.

Allow your child to make decisions, within limits
Encourage independence without giving children more power than they can handle. Parents should be in charge, although children should be able to make choices and voice opinions.

Praise your child realistically
Use words that set goals they’ll be able to achieve. "Bright," "creative," "imaginative," "kind," and "hard-working" are much more realistic than "brilliant," "genius," "smartest," and "perfect."

Give your child lots of support and encouragement
Although the middle school years are a time when children begin to crave more independence, they still need clear expectations and understanding of what they are going through. Your positive, patient support can be one of the best motivators there is.

For permission to reprint this article, please contact the Capital Region BOCES Communications Service by e-mailing us at dbushsuf@gw.neric.org.